Gettin’ Wiggy with it

I’m sure the Houston Astros wanted to make Ty Wigginton feel welcome when he joined the club on Sunday, but I think they took things a little too far in their game against San Diego.

You see, Wigginton had spent a couple of seasons with the Tampa Bay Devil Rays before being traded to Houston last week. So to make him feel like he was in his element, Houston allowed 11 runs in the first inning against the Padres, en route to an 18-11 loss.

Sha-Zam: Carlos marvels

On June 1, Carlos Zambrano was smacked around pretty good. He gave up 13 hits over five innings, and allowed seven runs, six of which were earned.

But in the two months since that ill-fated outing, C-Zam has really cracked the WHIP, so to speak.

This has to be one of the most amazing streaks in recent memory, but in his last 11 starts, Zambrano has not allowed more than five hits in any outing.

5-3-2-3-5-3-4-3-2-5-2.

He’s gone at least six innings and thrown at least 100 pitches in every outing except one (and that was only because they pulled him after five innings in one start because the Cubs had a 9-0 lead).

In 76.2 innings since that first June outing, Zambrano has allowed 37 hits. He’s walked 33 batters, so he isn’t breaking records in the WHIP department, but I don’t think Zambrano owners in fantasy baseball leagues are complaining. And, oh yeah, he leads the majors in wins.

Miles of milestones

Today has the potential for something cool to happen. Tom Glavine shoots for his 300th win. Alex Rodriguez is trying for his 500th homer. And, oh yeah, there’s that Bonds guy.

It will be interesting to see how Bruce Bochy handles that situation. Here’s what I would do:

Have Bonds play tonight, but have him bunt for a hit his first at-bat (the third baseman is so far away if he laid one down that way, he might get a double). Then come out in the third inning for a defensive replacement! And they say managing is difficult. Ha.

Jose Canseco, who authored the controversial 2005 book “Juiced,” has another freshly squeezed manuscript coming to bookstores soon, and one of its targets is none other than Alex Rodriguez.

Here’s the story on ESPN.com, where Jose provides what we in the media refer to as a “teaser” by telling us he has “other stuff” on A-Rod but won’t say why.

The book is due out in the fall, and the title wasn’t revealed in the story, but it’s probably something along the lines of “Another Shameless Plea For Attention.”

My favorite trades

I love late July, because of the trading deadline. I don’t totally understand it, because it seems like there are still plenty of trades made in August that are after the deadline, which kinda doesn’t make it a deadline, but apparently there’s something to do with waivers or whatever. I don’t really wanna know the difference. Some things are better left alone.

But I do know there’s always a flurry of activity in late July, and this year is no exception. Kenny Lofton to the Indians. Tadahito Iguchi to the Phillies, to fill in for injured second baseman Chase Utley. Mark Teixeira to … wait, that’s still to come.

But everyone knows about those deals. My favorite deals are the ones involving guys you’ve heard of, but only because you’re in a few deep fantasy leagues and have to know them.

Such a deal went down this week between the Brewers and Devil Rays. Milwaukee traded reliever Grant Balfour for Tampa Bay reliever Seth McClung.

I know what you’re thinking: So what? Why would I care? Why would anybody care?

That’s EXACTLY my point. I’d love to be connected to that conference call between the brass of the Brewers and Devil Rays. Here’s how I’m figuring it went:

Bob Uecker (OK, so he’s not the guy who makes trade for the Brewers, and I know that. But it’s my concocted fabrication, and my blog, so play along): “Hey, there, how are you? Wanted to call and ask about the availability of Al Reyes. We need a good eighth-inning guy to set up Cordero and, let’s face it, Reyes is already a closer with nothing to close. What would it take to get him from you?”

Guy Gallagher (according to a page on the team’s Web site, he’s the Visitors Clubhouse Manager, so I figure the way that organization runs, he’s probably in charge of all trades. Can’t you see the logic? “Well, he sees all the visiting players, doesn’t he? Let him make the deals.”): “Well, let’s see, Bob. I really like that Ryan Braun kid. He’s hitting .350, and I’ve heard he keeps his locker very clean. How about Braun for Reyes?”

Uecker: “No, no, no. Braun is the future, man. We can’t give that away. You’re juuuuuuuuuust a bit off on that deal. How about we make a package trade. Hmmmmm. How about you give us Reyes and, um, Seth McClung as a throw-in for, say, Craig Counsell — he’s an established major leaguer and could help out your infield depth, since you’re probably gonna trade Ty Wigginton anyway — and, let’s see here … Miranda Bintley. What do you say?”

Gallagher: “Who’s Miranda Bintley?”

Uecker: “She’s our landscape manager. You have some nice foliage in Tampa and I figure she could be a real plus for your organization.”

Gallagher: “Well, I’m not sure that really works for us, Bob, though I appreciate your concern for the look of our stadium, since it’s in much better shape than our ballclub. Anyway, how about this: We’ll give you Reyes and McClung for Counsell and another pitcher. Got any prospects you can part with?”

Uecker: “How about Grant Balfour? Are you familiar with him?”

Gallagher: “Not really. Are you?”

Uecker: “No, but he’s in our organization. Says here he’s pitched in three games this year for us, and is 0-2 with a 20.25 ERA. Now that’s a prospect for you. Nowhere to go but up.”

Gallagher: “Well, a pitcher whose name is pronounced ‘ball four’ would certainly fit in here in Tampa. But still, I don’t think we wanna give up Reyes for a veteran backup infielder.”

Uecker: “I understand. Wanna trade McClung for Balfour, just to displace their families for no reason?”

Gallagher: “Sure. What the hell.”

How else could it happen?

Here’s a cool idea: Fantasy Sports Live is a new site that has daily single-table poker-style tournaments, but for fantasy sports players.

In other words, small games limited to 2 or 6 or 10 people, where you pick players and get paid based on that particular day’s statistics. New games every day.

Gotta be honest — I’m a little jealous I didn’t tap the keg on this puppy. Seems like a no-brainer. Fantasy baseball is a season-long grind, but there’s a lot to be said for instant gratification and short attention spans and I think it will be pretty popular when it’s all said and done.

Check it out here.

OK, so my brain was a pretty empty chamber to begin with. But when you’ve been in a strange place for a few days healthwise and workwise and everything-elsewise, sometimes you just need to get some things out.

First, my apologies for recent illnesses and insane work issues that have essentially forced me to neglect blogging for a few days. Cal Ripken’s record is safe, to be certain.

Onward: Quick question — Of the big four, what sport would you want to run as its commissioner right now? I was thinking about it at lunch the other day, and I’m not sure there’s a good choice these days. Bud Selig has the Bonds record-breaking homer attendance vs. steroid investigation thing to deal with. Roger Goodell has to decide what to do with Michael Vick. David Stern has to worry about the mob owning his referees. The hockey commissioner, whomever he is, has to worry about the fact that the average Joe has no idea what his name is. If I’m that guy, I’m rooting for a big scandal just so people get to know me.

OK, enough of that. Back to baseball. Speaking of Bonds, his war of words with Bob Costas was elevated a little in his recent diary entry (the kids call this a “blog,” folks) on barrybonds.com.

Wait a second here. This “official” Barry Bonds site, where Bonds writes what he wants and the whole thing is geared toward hyping all of his milestones and achievements, is run by … mlb.com? As in Major League Baseball, the same folks whose boss is actively pursuing an investigation to wipe all of this stuff from the record books? Are you kidding me? Am I the only one who thinks this is strange?

Moving past Barry, let’s go to another impending milestone — Alex Rodriguez.

A-Rod is sitting on 499 homers right now, but here’s the best part: He may already have 500 and not even know it. Sort of. Technically, if he hits a homer on Friday in the completion of a suspended game against the Orioles (Baltimore leads 8-6 in the 8th inning), that will be recorded as homer No. 493 of his career since that game was started on June 28, so all stats from that game will be attributed to that date. This would mean his 500th homer was actually against Gil Meche on Wednesday.

Wild, huh? Anyway, more on that in this story from MLB.com, which also has a cool piece of trivia: With his homer Wednesday, Rodriguez became the first player in major-league history to have at least 35 homers and 100 RBI in 10 consecutive seasons. Although, technically, if he homers in the suspended game on Friday, he would have become the first player to achieve that feat back on Tuesday, as far as you know.

Ah, it’s good to be back.

Even PETCO no match for Howard

Remember two months ago when fantasy baseball owners across the land were complaining about gross underachiever Ryan Howard and his tweaked leg injury and how his numbers were going to be way down this season?

Don’t look now, but Howard is demonstrating almost daily that he’s healthy and perhaps even more dangerous than last season.

He homered twice again last night, making cavernous PETCO park look like a T-ball field, as the Phillies rolled past the Padres.

He has 21 homers and 56 RBI in 49 games since returning from the DL on May 25, leading the majors in both categories in that time. His average has gone up 70 points to .274, and he’s hitting .359 in July, with a .797 slugging percentage for the month.

Holla! Pena! — man, he’s hot

As much as I expected Ryan Howard to get it going (you don’t hit your first 100 homers in 60 fewer games than anyone to ever wear a major-league uniform by accident), I also expected Carlos Pena to fizzle a little in the second half, and so far, he’s done anything but that.

He smacked his 23rd homer in his first at-bat on Sunday, and continues to have a monster season in Tampa Bay. He has 64 RBI (with more at-bats coming on Sunday) in 84 games, with a team-leading 47 walks and a respectable .287 average. Not bad for a guy who had 33 at-bats last season.

Getti